I still am Ibong Adarna, even if a few things have changed. I do miss my inferno, but for now, I am just a happy innocent bird, perching on my big old Piedras Platas Tree. Let me
just make one thing clear though: my voice lulls anyone to sleep... Forever. Hahaha, you be careful when I am around. Not only will it be suicidal to let me sing... it would be plain stupid. XD
And you better not comment on the feathers. Nor on the dimple. Don't even think about it.
title:MONOLOGUE disclaimer: dahil may isang bagay na naganap... ako'y napilitang magsulat dahil kung hindi, sasabog ako sa harap ng maraming tao. at well, nakakahiya. ew. hahah.
========================================== yan kasi, sa susunod, kung feel mo mag "travel down memory lane" and assume na meron ngang memory lane, make sure hindi ka mapalaw!!! =)). loser! kasi you know what elly just did? nag hanap siya ng mga past issues/blogs/entries basta archives na akala niya makapakilig lalo sa kanya... kasi feel niya daw mag "love trip". da, gaba. =)))). you know what she found? "friends lang kasi talaga kami". amp. hahahahah!!! BUGO-A KO UY. =)). tanga talagaaaaaaa. aaahhhuuuuggghhh. =)). natatawa ako sa sarili ko na naiinis at the same time. gets niyo yung feeling? =)). i'm so gonna kill myself!!! hahahaha. tanga. bugo. tanga. bugo. kaya nga naman, sinasabi ko, for a smart person, i am pretty dumb. diba? :)). the problem of assuming is that it is all but an assumption. DUH. hahaha. and the problem of not seeing that problem is you think there's a possibility of REMOVING the assumption part. NEXT TIME KASI... wag na mag travel down memory lane KUNG WALA NAMANG MEMORY LANE. =)). tanga. hahahaha. hindi ako makaget-over. bugo talaga. augh. what an utter waste of time. i could have reminisced of something else. hay. pag nabobo nga naman. =)) ====================== for the record. masaya. =)))))))) |
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title:if you need to crash and burn, then crash and burn. i got into thinking; how some things matter more than others. how i realized that my life was not really about my grades, but about the people, my people. how the person that i am is truly defined by those who surround me, and in turn, i do love the most. how blessed i really am despite the shitness i went through over the past few days.
last friday, i f*cking lost in a math contest. and no, i'm not usually bitter. it's just that, when you lose the opportunity of winning second and consequently, the opportunity of actually qualifying for the regionals, you can't help but feel frustrated. especially when it's your own fault. and you've got no one else to blame. i mean, where on earth could you find a log 0? i think it's okay to be stupid, but it's not fine when you be stupid in the most important events of your life. i have been competing for this contest for what, 3, 4... 5 years? and honestly, i didn't mind being in the shadow of salubre or some math person -- until now. why? because i wanted to experience something new. i wanted to challenge myself. and that part failed. and because... oh, that's for me to know and you to not know. :) and on that same f*cking day, i received a f*cking bad news. and when i mean bad, i mean it. it's bad enough that you lose an opportunity, but trust me, it's nothing when the opportunity itself is taken away from you; grabbed as if you never had the right to participate to begin with. it doesn't feel right because i know - and they know - i did not deserve that. we did not deserve that maltreatment. you people are so inefficient, or purposely inefficient because you are biased. but either way, it doesn't change the fact that you are the faulty ones. and yes, call me bitter or angry, but at least this one is not on me. this one's on you. you're the one who's unfair. i don't want to curse you or something, but i swear we will rise from this. i know we won't stop doing well just because of you. ladies and gentlemen, my personal burden of proof. and then, there's exam week. which is totally cool with me because i already know my fate. God bless my poor performance. but i do not regret any of my answers... i guess. i did my best, and if my best wasn't good enough, then you are not good enough for me either. haha. but seriously, if there was one thing i learned from all the exams, and all the questions i left uncertain and unanswered, it was the fact that we do not really know everything, and sometimes, we should just let go and let God. in time, i will learn what is the term used for making visions a reality. or why some people are just so inefficient. or why some math problems stick to being a problem. because whatever happens, happens. and whatever will come, will come. i guess we just have to embrace that uncertainty and whatever that comes with and after it. the thrill of the ride makes all difference. but while everything in the future is so abstract, i might as well dwell in the present... because right now - i don't know how or why - but i feel happy. not ecstatic-excited-joyful... just happy. na feel niyo na yun? that certain overflowing positivity that runs from the tips of your hair to the depths of your soul? that certain contentment that erases whatever it is that you fee you lack. that calm tone in your head that lets you express those untold emotions. that certain energy that makes the imperfect... perfectly imperfect. and i know this one's not just because i'm elly, or because i'm weird, or because i'm crazy. i've got the feeling that this is all because of you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you and you and you... you, who have, in some way or another, inspired me. and all i want to say is that i do not want to make a litany because i have to learn how to be concise. but really, if i had to say one thing, that would be thank you. thank you.* i got into thinking how tonight was a good good night. |
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title:contrast of colors you make me feel brand new. ha. ha. ha. pero nga naman, ewan bakit. parang, gusto kong itanong yung bakit pero wala namang sagot. or pwede rin itanong yung bakit, kasi obvious naman kung bakit, pero yung nga, what difference does the answer make?
samantalang ikaw. you think i don't see nor feel, but i do. please lang. over na ako. minsan, wala naman talagang issue. pero nakayayamot lang kasi ung iilang moments na parang, okay, heto na naman tayo sa cycle na parang menstruation. alam na alam ko yung bakit, di ko lang masabi. kaya, pwede wag na lang? kapoy kasi. makasira ng good vibes. adik ako sa mandy moore songs these days. maka miss yung 1999-2004 na mga movies na romantic feel good ang genre. life felt simpler those days. yes, i do appreciate the leap in cinematography, video effects and editing, pero... at least the plot isn't compromised. dba? ang romantic movie lang na naenjoy ko this generation is.. enchanted. HAHA. share ko lang. In places no one will find. |
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title:opening old boxes. [Third year. :))] When I am but a failure, and in shame I dwell With no one to share the pain; left weeping in the dark And God turns a deaf ear: my prayers are to no avail Life is but an unbearable curse I wish to end Wishing for an enlightened perspective: undoubting Wishing for gold and laugher: endless euphoria Wishing for stunning success at my reach: brilliance For I find no meaning in who I am But with the thought of you: I stop The tears run dry; new warmth envelops me And like that of the stars in the night I break free: despite darkness, despite misery With the thought of you: I live My soul finds its way back to life. I will not exchange my rags for the Queen’s riches For hers is ephemeral, and you are my eternity |
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title:the prayer mrs. zafra's six-year old daughter ezra said a little prayer for me. :)
hahahahaha, ka cute nia as a kid. but oh sometimes, it's the innocence i miss... :) |
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